It Began and Ended With DID
by MissDevon
Summary: Star decides to thank Natalie for her help in keeping her, Blair and Todd out of trouble for faking Cole's death by telling her she saw John kissing Sam, for which Natalie takes her to task. Is Nat being too hard on her or is it exactly what the girl needs to hear to realize that she's not who she pretends to be and that there's more at stake then her? Hints of Stole/McBam/Jolie


_It Began and Ended with DID_

Star Manning looked out of the window of her new apartment, glad that her seedy roommate, Trey, was gone for the night. Sighing, she sat down on the window seat and looked at the stars in the sky, a silent tear running down her cheek.

She had just gotten off the phone with her cousin, Natalie, who had put her job on the line to make sure that her parents and she didn't end up in jail for faking Cole's death, and what had she done? She didn't thank her. She didn't tell her she loved her- no, she had smiled the slick smile she had inherited from her 'real' father and threw back her hair and informed Natalie that her husband- a man her own dearly lamented boyfriend had so looked up to- was running around behind her back with a mob moll.

Natalie had laughed at her, causing her anger to rise and she had sent her a picture she had taken of John and Sam McCall-Morgan in a lip lock on the docks as retaliation (she had known that was where Natalie had first seen John kissing Marty back in the day and how it had crush her, so of course this would to- only it didn't…..)

Natalie had called her back, and in a clipped tone, told her: "You know what Star? You are nothing but an immature brat playing at being a grownup. Your 'real' _Dad_ must be so proud of you. But you need to remember something- _He's_ the one that_ raped_ Marty. _He's _the one that almost killed Nora and Luna._ He's _the one who kidnapped your brother and passed him off as an adopted kid to get what he wanted and payback from your mom.

_He's also_ the one who would've let our so called grandfather cut my heart out.

Now, I know what it's like to loose someone you bury them and live with that grief, but I will NOT tolerate you interfering in my life and marriage and endangering all that I hold dear, little girl!_You really think he's so much better than Victor? _

_Are you that blind? _

_**The man is using you!**_He would've let Cole go to jail gladly for giving him the beat down that he gave would've actually thrown you down those stairs in Jersey and shown NO remorse instead of it being an accident and away for your mother to twist what little thought you had left for yourself and kick him out of your life because she preferred your abusive boyfriend to him.

And we both know I know how abusive Cole really was, don't we?

I was the one showing you the makeup tricks and helping to cover the bruises so your DAD wouldn't hurt him.

I'll give you props on that one, Star, you pulled that one over on me so very well.

But the truth is. you are nothing but a pawn in his power plays with your mother and Tea, Star. You have _never _been _more_ than that to _**him."**_ she shot off in distaste._**"**_We used to be , there were times that I was closer to you than to Jessie, but you know what? Go cry to someone else when you need to get bailed out of trouble. John and I are done rescuing your sorry, uncompassionate, ungrateful little behind from whatever fires your parents and your self destructive streak get you into!"

"Oh, please like you always had _my _best interests at heart? You made me loose close to a YEAR with Hope!" Star had struck back viciously.

"No. You have me confused with Jessie," Natalie said through gritted teeth. "And before you call out Victor for it, remember, he told the doctor to bring her back to you- she choose to help him and to wait before having a nurse give her to you, giving _Bess_ the chance to take her from the hospital.

You really think TODD would have done that? Walked away from his plan of action to keep his little girl from being a mother too soon and a crazy woman who helped to steal his son from him from getting his granddaughter?You forget, I know the truth about why you choose Maci.

YOU TOLD ME!

You only agreed to give up the baby to Marci to piss him the hell off- you had been serious you would have given that baby to Kelly and Kevin."

"I at least know how to hold onto a man without chasing after him, Natalie!"

Natalie laughed at her: "You're a hell of a lot worse than I ever was at your age," she told her as she added ice to her tone. "But than again, I knew better than to stay with a guy who almost raped go on the run and then blame my 'father' for standing up to the punk kid who get his daughter knocked up- because seriously Star, that had been my Dad, Uncle Bo, or Grandfather- not to mention anyone of my four brothers or even Nigel, and Cole would've been looking down the wrong end of a shotgun and it would've been fired as soon as he pushed me down those stairs.

So you keep lying to yourself, like you always do.

Live in your little world of denial.

You're a strong Crammer woman, after all, and all you know how to do is hurt around- I mean who is it this week the Mob Boss or his associate- the wannabe Mobster with the multi-million dollar inheritance who can't get daddy to let him in the business?

Start blaming me now all you want to for you're I shouldn't have actually, you know, cared about my sister and her fragile mental health and the fact that she would have to bury her second child- only months after burying her husband- and let you give Marci Hope. I mean, she'd have better off, right, Star?Marci still would've gotten pregnant with Gabe- Hope would be a big sister!

Marci and Michael would've moved to Seattle- breaking your agreement, but then again you never really intended her to keep her side, did you?

But Hope would be alive.

That I have no doubt of- if she was with Jess or Marci she would've lived instead of being with you- you selfish little brat! They wouldn't have let their boyfriend talk them into going to a city where his Uncle was almost killed because of his ties to the Irish Mafia- the people who almost killed him and his mother, stole his father from him. Or drive down a highway where his aunt had been killed in a hit meant for his uncle.  
No, because they are, even if mentally unstable, _adults_ who put the needs of their children first," Natalie told her with surprising calm. "Don't call me for favors, or ask John to get your skinny but our of 's what your Daddy's for isn't he?

Don't interfere with things you know nothing about, because in all honesty, Star, I only helped you because we were family- but I see how far that gets me.

I won't help you again.I will have the fact that you aren't such an innocent ready to send to the PCPD should the need arise.I will have both your parents thrown into jail for faking Cole's death in Landview- but riddle me this Star- if _Todd _did it once, what makes you so sure he didn't- or wouldn't- do it again?

To rid his daughter of the Thornhart spawn and give him as his payment the daughter that he didn't even want to see or acknowledge when he was in jail.

Or maybe he gave her to Marty as some sort of 'I'm sorry I raped you and got your son killed. Now keep them both out of mine and my daughter's life so she can have a real one with out a kid around,' I mean, there's someone you'd really want raising your daughter- just a jump on and off the crazy train based on what the man in her life wants.

Hell, maybe they planned it during Cole's visit to them.  
Give his parents the chance at raising a child together that was stolen from them.  
Remember who you are dealing with cousin of mine.

Todd has gained from this.

Renewed his connection to you (the only one of his kids who gives more of a damn for him than Victor).  
He bought a magazine from the person who claims to have shot out the tires; which as a forensic tech and sister of someone who has DID I can tell you- she didn't.

The signs don't fit. She pulled a Rappaport- just like your it when he blackmailed her over something else- a little secrect that she didn't want Sonny or anyone else ever knowing about. Her case was too out of the books and movies.

I mean, come on- she reverts to her 'Benson Hurst' persona? The 17 year old girl she used to be? Even you can't be that stupid!

So, go ahead, hook up with Michael Corinthos number whatever or Johnny Z.  
I don't care.  
Get caught in as many mob shootouts as you want to.  
I won't help you.

Just stay out of my marriage, because the lives you destroy won't be just mine and John's but people close to you.

See, I'm no Crammer, but I'm sure as hell a Buchanan and my Granddaddy taught me well.  
I will destroy you to protect those I have to.  
I will not let some other child be stolen from a good home to be put in the arms of someone who doesn't care enough for their own safety that they would let someone put a gun to their side, ready to shoot them in the stomach as they carried said child, to prove a point. I won't let another child be put in the path of bullets or speeding cars.

And I sure as hell won't let a child be taken from a loving home to be put with some immature woman/child who thinks the world owes her a living by nature of her name or that she was nothing more than the gestational carrier for a woman who would DIE before she let harm befall her child.

I know more about what John's up to than your prunny brain could comprehend.  
That's part of being an adult and having an adult relationship and trusting your partner.  
I know I can trust him with my life, was the same ever true of you and Cole? You and these other guys you're chasing around?  
Don't get trapped in your parents cycle.

You saw how much _Victor loved Tea. _How a real relationship could be for a Lord man. He loved you like a daughter and he never stopped, which is more than I can say for_ Todd. _Face it Star, that man's a sociopath. He can't feel or love. He can act like it, that's where it ends.

He's in Port Charles with his own agenda.

One that doesn't include you unless you're a means to his ends.  
I mean, Victor would've bought you a record company- he never would've let you work for a porn producer or a Mobster," Natalie finished and then slammed the phone shut.

Staring out the window, Star tried to digest the hateful words.  
Were they true?

She had known Cole was abusive, but he could also be so sweet and loving- especially when he was making up the abuse. And he had never hurt Hope, if he had she would've taken her daughter and run. But then again who would have believed her?

She had thought that her love with Cole was perfect and true, but the more she started to feel the pain of loosing him abate, the more she wished she had stayed with had told herself it was just because then Hope would've been alive, but maybe it was more….

But still Johnny and Michael had a pull on her….

Leaning against the wall she stared at the stars and wrapped her arms around her stomach. Yes, her Hope would still be alive if she had done things differently. Natalie had sure as hell nailed that on the head.

But the rest of her rant she didn't understand… "Oh g-d dad, what the hell did you do know?" she wondered as she started to make sense of her cousin's anger filled digs.  
The last few could only mean one thing.  
She had seen baby Victor in the nursery, but had taken her dad's advice and not gone to see Tea.  
She got weekly e-mails from Danni which showed his growth… but there was no denying it- he was too small to have been Tea's. The only person she knew of who had a child that night that didn't make it was Sam.

Sam who lost her baby because she had taken him out into the storm and then selfishly left him in a planter while she took shelter in a garden shed.  
Sam who insisted her baby had to be alive somewhere, but who was so selfish she hadn't done what she needed to protect him.  
Who waited for John and Jason to save them,  
Neither she nor Natalie where that stupid or that naive.  
They wouldn't have let go of their babies.  
Tea wouldn't have let go of hers if her father wasn't there…. Her sick, twisted, bastard of a father….

"At least Jess had an excuse," she muttered, "she was sick.  
Maybe he always has been.  
It wasn't Irene and the brainwashing.  
It was always a part of him, a part dear old uncle Victor didn't have in him.  
He would feel and he loved us," Star sighed. "My little Hope you were taken from me twice because of DID and its you I mourn more than your father day after day.

When I see the little girls playing in the park.  
Go to the clothes store and have to skip the children's department…. I won't interfere in my little brother having a good home with a strong, sane mother.  
I will do all I have to to protect him in ways I failed you.  
And someday, when you won't be in so much danger because of the truth coming out I will find out what Todd did to you and get you back.  
I'll show them I can be a real mother, like I should've been from the start," she whispered as she started to sing the lullaby her mother used to sing to her…..


End file.
